she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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