The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
