whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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