I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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