guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
