I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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