why didn't you poke me back
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
