I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just cut my nipple shaving
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Randomize
