I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
