I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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