Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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