glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
