wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
