Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
