She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
