I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
