never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
