I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
