I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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