Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
