it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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