I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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