My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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