Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
