Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
