I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
