just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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