Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
false alarm. still invincible.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
