He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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