but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
as a side note pls kill me
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