does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
