Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
