My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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