Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
