So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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