3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He shit in the fireplace
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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