All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Randomize
