How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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