I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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