So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
