Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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