Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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