Jerry, you need to find god
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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