btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
