look no pants
Ketchup is God's man juice
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
