About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I could fuck to npr.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
