It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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