so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
