no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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