apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
