They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize