I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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