You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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