I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
