I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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