I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i drank out of a bidet.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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