You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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