if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
